Chasing Bees and Butterflies - Part #1

When the sound of silence is made more melodious only by the buzzing of bees and fluttering of butterflies, it's hard to not chase the moment and treasure a piece of it for yourself...

Taking a few minutes to walk about the garden to savor the symphony nature so effortlessly creates can be supremely meditative. 

The dog days of summer are here, and so are the blooms that attract a variety of critters.

Featuring in this post - Allium Purple Sensation

Alliums return year after year to bridge the gap that late spring blooms leave before the bright summer perennials take over. The perfect globes spike up in a thrush to create quite the sensation.

Get some saved seed from a friend or buy online from a variety of stores. Now, Aug/Sep, is a great time to buy in bulk!

#GardenerSpeak
#Meditation
#MyHappyPlace

Back to School - Part 2

If you are like me, you realize it's the end of February and you have not made a new year's resolution, and you are unsure if one is or ever was necessary. :)


Feel like paddling along with someone who is in the same boat as you? Welcome then! Let's ripple on back to Feb 2017...


Wedding bells for my cousin's daughter beckoned. I was on my way to India for both the wedding and something just as special. My flight had just landed in Hyderabad. It was a grueling haul, yet I felt fresh, my mind set on a thought I had nurtured for over 30 years. I knew I was going to check at least one item off my bucket list during this visit. I had made my mind up and you know how stubborn girls like us in their mid forties can be!


You see, new years' resolutions never really worked for me because I always had way too many things that I wanted to do, improve upon, do away with, or take on. Juggling those self-imposed demands was a challenge, but never the commitment to give it my all and savor the ends. The glutton in me always bites off more than she can chew, but hasn't learned to spit. She is crazy for believing in giving herself practice in handling what seems unhandleable, but who's to tell her?! Surely, I've fallen short many times, but even then, I excelled in learning from my shortcomings and staying inspired for the next good thing.
I digress. Back to why I started this post. Whether we wrap our desires in New years' resolutions year after fleeting year or not, I believe that we all have a need that is satisfied only by raw, teeming commitment to improve a thing of our affection or uproot an object of our disdain, from its roots. We often doubt if we are capable or have the wherewithal to succeed, but the need exists and the desire to make it real refuses to die. My desire may find its fulfillment in one corner, while yours in another, but the spirit behind it resonates in unison. It's what becomes the power that propels us forward - makes us do things we doubted we could even attempt.


Growing up in a family where there was plenty to go around for us and all who sought mom and dad's assistance from time to time, taught me the power of two concepts - gratitude and giving. In their own way, they taught us that the best way to ever imagine saying thanks for our blessings was to pay forward - make each blessing count through actions that are meaningful to someone in need. Those two words, gratitude and giving, could not have rung more true than they did an year ago. As I planned my trip to India, I felt a certain suppleness take over me. I knew the time had come for me to make good on at least one of my desires. I shared what was on my mind with a few friends and they were just as excited! It took them only a few minutes to jump right in and sign-up for whatever project I was raving to embark on.
No sooner did I finish attending the wedding festivities, I went back to Keyes a second time with a resolve to make my walking in the hallways and running my hands on those balding desks a bit more meaningful. Only this time, my focus was on the girls. Girls just like my friends and I were back in the late 70s. They wore purple tunics, two braids neatly tied up in black ribbons, broad smiles, were hardworking and funny, and carried grades that were commensurate with their big, little girl dreams. The only difference from what I gathered was that unlike us, some of these girls were unsure where their next month's tuition would come from, or come at all.


During my first visit a few days before this one, (Back to School - Part 1, A Good Sit #GiveBackToMySchool) I had alluded to my desire to make a small difference in the lives of girls who were financially challenged. I went back to chalk out the details of what the current situation was and what if, I'd be able to do to establish a support system for them for the long-term. The Principal and staff were elated at the idea and scurried to give me all the help they could....I was besides myself with joy at what was to come at the end of that exercise. The suppleness I had felt before my trip had returned. My mind was starting to feel at ease. My restless energy, its home.
In the days that followed, I worked with the wonderful administrative staff of Keyes to lay down the intent of sponsorship, the criteria for choosing who would receive support, end of year grades/performance expectations, etc. I brought my trusted group of friends who were in 5 states in India and the 3 in the US, up to speed on the prospect of sponsoring education for over a dozen deserving girls and opened a bank account exclusively for the purpose, so we could keep our contributions and payouts in order.
A month after my return to the US, all formalities were completed by friends in Hyderabad who continued to work with the school, and we as a group were able to sponsor education for 14 girls for an entire year! :)
It is a modest start, but a start nevertheless.


By itself, my bucket list item may have created an unnoticeable dent in the dire need that holds promise to empower our young girls with the education they deserve, but together, a handful of us from the 1986 batch of 10D have managed to leave a mark for ourselves - a mark to remind us that gratitude finds its best expression when it reflects in the eyes of those whose success we facilitate.
Our hope is that these girls will feel better equipped to be bolder and better no matter where they are and what they are doing simply because they got a second chance at rediscovering possibilities and redefining success.
Phew!! If you have paddled along this deep with me, you have won my vote of gratitude.
Before you bid good bye, just smile a little smile for my friends who made this dream project a reality.
Aparna Sishtla, Anitha Suraj, Premalatha, Padmaja Ratnaker, Swaroopa Kamraj, Dhanalakshmi Mosoor, Jyoti Madhavi, and Kanya Nagalaxmi Chinni.

Thanks for humoring me by reading my memory and yes, please message if you wish to lean more about the process of trying something like this. I would love to share.
#GiveBackToMySchool
#ChoseToEmpower

Chatting with mom

It's a few days after her birthday, but here's me 'Chatting with mom'.

Chatting with mom

I am in my car a lot these days: driving to and from work, running errands, chauffeuring kids, meeting friends, taking idle drives, and sometimes, just sitting quietly, soaking up the rationed warmth of the Cleveland sun, waiting for some person/job/gadget to respond before hitting the pedal again. The list of To-Dos seems endless mom, and some days are just too long.

I must admit, I never thought I’d take a liking to driving. Of all the things I considered utterly unenjoyable, driving was at the top year after year. I enjoyed riding in the passenger seat as you may well recall, but never driving. Lately though, it’s been different. My mind is at ease when I am in the driver’s seat; my grip on the wheel loosens a little, my lips break into a smile, and thoughts of all manner cross my mind. I discard many, reflect on some, and seek answers to a few. You can’t imagine how many questions there are that I do not know answers to, and it doesn’t bother me at all anymore that I don’t. I can count on my one hand all the questions I care about, and on myself for knowing not to dwell inordinately on inquiry. I just depend on honest pursuit instead - a task at a time, all in, just like you had taught me.

Would you think me naïve if I shared what’s on my mind today? On the radio, in the magazines, and yes quite the copious overdose on social media, I hear one thing over and over again. I hear that I need to stop looking in the rearview mirror, and that looking forward is the only way to stay ahead, thrive - the only mantra worth registering - that I must unhesitatingly let go of the past and usher in the new, that change is the only constant, and that my lukewarm reception of the new normal is sure to get me in trouble with no kosher recourse to follow. “You’ve got to be tough”, I am told by well-meaning folks, to weather the unseasonal blows these years after 40 deal, and surely, I must at all costs exercise restraint when it comes to taking my eyes off the windshield. Am I altogether astray for believing differently, mom? Isn’t taking the time to look back occasionally akin to honoring my legacy or giving myself a break from the strain of keeping my eyes on the tar? Like reading from a timeless book of consummate experience, a page at a time, pausing to relive, relish, and review? Isn’t that what has kept me (and countless others through time) grounded because I knew where I had been and how, and with that awareness, better equipped to carve the path to where I want go? Is it not true anymore?

I wonder why I never paid much attention to the rearview in the past, but now, I am expressly curious. Could it be because of where I am in my life today? At peace with what is, yet feeling overcome by the energy that mighty cymbals of joy and challenge produce when they clang? Focused, yet feeling lost in the aura that my passionate pursuits create? Foolishly hungry, yet not unhesitatingly dauntless? 

 

But you see, It’s not something I can resist - When I look in the rearview mirror, mom, I see familiar images - not of loss, disappointment, failure, or anger, but of life’s challenges and its bountiful rewards, gifts of family and friends, burnished mile markers of trial and sacrifice, finish lines of sincere endeavor and stumble-ridden learning, and more often than these, I see your precious face - your gorgeous eyes, your tender manner, your unrelenting passion to do good, and your uncanny ability to not let the urgent drown out the important – all the things that made you you; Oh! How I wish you were around and I could show off your reassuring smile to my friends so they would believe me when I say that it needed no aide when it came to wiping clean the peevish burden of a weary day. I am working on getting myself some of that disarming charm, but you are so inimitable…I envy you. :)

Here’s something funny. Last week, I had this whole story unfold as though in front of my very eyes. It was a long day at work. A night where 7 p.m. in the parking lot felt like night had given up all contemplation of day. It was pitch-dark. I walked up to my car, tired and hungry. I plugged my phone into the charger as I pulled back and there you were! Slicing onions and green tomatoes into even-sized chunks, and tossing them into an emulsion of spices with just the right amount of salt, green chillies, and sesame powder, casually garnishing the casserole with handful of washed sprigs of cilantro - stalk, leaf, and flower, unchopped, like you always did. I guessed I was hungry but that wasn’t all. While busily working the ladle and loading up the pressure cooker, you managed to dispense with a mild lecture on the wisdom that lay in picking my battles with surgical precision where my almost-adult teenager was concerned, and topped the cautionary tale with “Your 13-year old isn’t that far behind, you know.” I couldn’t stay distracted by the aroma of frying green tomatoes for too long, and quickly summoned myself back to the conversation. If you had a reason in mind for this particular avatar, I am not aware of it, but when you are around, there’s one of two things in the mix: a blessing or a lesson. This one, I have decided to count as the latter.

It’s just one of your many avatars, I know. Flashes of you, avatars I hadn’t seen in your 60 years of living, like the clown you were at your granddaughter’s 6th birthday, are outright entertaining while the real ones like educator, nurse, lawyer, social worker, chairman of the board, committed wife, and awesome mother are simply passion-forward. Your raw authenticity is so rare, so effulgent. You were never a rulebook thumper, mom, and I loved that about you. You lived by example, the only way you knew how. When you asked us to believe that loves cures all or that we must be truthful no matter what, we knew from your tranquil eyes that they had seen the magic work. When you took challenges in stride and remarked that problems were part of the curriculum, your planted feet and piercing glare assured us that you had in your day cut the onslaught in half before it ever began. When you asked us to aim high, I knew you had had your hands outstretched already to keep us from falling to the ground.

Whatever the avatar, what I most adore about you mom, when I am not in awe of being around you that is, is your ability to find and make a human connection even with a bystander, where none existed. Did I tell you that I hear and see you outside of the driver’s seat too? This time around, I am looking in the mirror. I may never be a fraction of the person you were, but I am fully attentive and ready for this conversation to continue so I many never stop aspiring!

The New Year is upon us once again and I have been thinking of you all day.

Reminiscing how we celebrated you and our time together over two days leading up to Jan 1st each year. How we would shop for a new saree or a small piece of jewelry for you, and how after going to the temple, dine at the finest restaurant our budget could afford.

I need you more than I have needed you before, and I now know why I love looking in that rearview mirror…If it wasn’t for the handless hold that you so masterfully wield over me to this day, I wonder where I would have been. Thank you!

Happy 77th, mom. :)

Love you.

Back to School 🏫 -Part 1

Feb 2017


A Good Sit



It was only the third time in 31 years that I had walked the halls of my school...a place I remember as my own since I joined in grade 4 - where I realized the joy of having friends and the value of learning; from whose tall walls, on which hung portraits of pioneers of the time, the power of legacy and the strength that comes only from doing hard and honorable work; through whose dedicated teachers, the art of walking that almost invisible line that lay between instruction and inspiration, and within whose flexible confines, the facility to articulate the meaning and power of small freedoms.


Surely, the grand corridors needed upkeep and those tall walls a fresh coat of paint and some putty, but those were easy to ignore. The warmth with which I was received by the office staff, and the stars they carried in their eyes as they made conversation with an Old student who came back to visit just like that, was simply overwhelming. It had the same unrelenting quality of kind comfort that my purple tunic-clad self felt through her seven years at Keyes. Jayasree madam walked me through the mechanics of how the administration is doing its best to keep up with changing times, and Archana Salvi madam brought me up to speed on the use of technology. What was more, I got to meet the stars, the kids of today, whose talents and energies continue to make Keyes High School proud! I had the honor of meeting the quiet, gifted, Safa Manal who had just won first place in the twin cities math competition, and Suchitra, the school Head Girl with a ready smile, who seemed like the leader the rest of the gang loved. From what I could tell, everyone seemed super happy to meet me too and that just made my day!


As I walked out of the library/office in my red saree which made for quite a contrast to purple, I found myself quietly answering questions that seemed to be coming from so many intent young eyes...no sooner did I pass the assembly hall on my right, did one girl ask if I was a new teacher. 'I wish' , I heaved a mumbling sigh as a fleeting rumination on the career of my dreams caught me off-guard. 10 seconds later I was glad my thoughts crossed paths with my destination, 10 D. I left my disappointment outside the door of course, and walked into a sea of smiles. There was that irresistible quality of kind comfort again....I chatted with my next gen counterparts for quite some time about this and that. Only a few seconds in and I realized they shared the same sentiments about exam time as me! I always wondered if anything about exams was ever fun and suddenly I felt right at home. I had company! We never knew what the outcome of our ignorant minds paying homage to education would be or if there would any at all, but the thought of straying seemed far more scary. So, it was just something we attempted in all sincerity and got over with.. Thank God for opportunities and experience, and motherhood, I now know better than to shortchange the value of measurement.
That picture of me in the classroom that I have had for sometime on my timeline made many smile because it stirred up their memories and brought random incidents and unmeditated feelings to surface - stuff that made them hungry for a throwback to a time where they could enjoy a Good Sit in those worn out desks, peer over to sneak a joke or two during class, and just make a few more memories, wishing school days had dragged on a little bit longer and we never grew out of our school uniforms ...


"HAPPY is when you have a good sit in the chair against the cupboard in the last bench in class 10 D at Keyes High School chatting with a bunch of 15-year olds.....Life is Good when a walk down memory lane does not seem like it was 31 years ago! "


To be contd. in Part 2...

The Baker's Dozen on Strengthening Relationships

Do relationships matter? 

Ever imagined where we would be without the many ties that keep our existence meaningful? Whether the objective is strategic or mere commonplace, whether at home, work or any location where living in isolation is not a popular choice, fact remains that there is a need to nurture these relationships and strengthen them as we go about our lives.

Though simple, the tenets below require a solemn personal commitment and a desire to abide by it not just when convenient, but in spite of much inconvenience. It is only then that there can be a successful establishment of Trust and Rapport with all those that we care about. A little investment is sure to go a long way, and the results that follow are immediate and most gratifying.

Note that each tenet has an ACTION word (Verb). This goes to prove that the only place where Success comes before Work is in the Dictionary!

1. Approach people with a Smile. It is the one weapon in your arsenal with the greatest potential to turn things around, no matter how grave the given circumstance.

2. Arouse in the other person a desire to meet, talk and work with you. Show what's in it for them. From that desire comes motivation to consider, commitment to pursue, and determination to succeed. 

3. Address the person by name and use it often during your conversations. One's name is the sweetest sound to him/her in any language.

4. Ask about their interests. Know what they like. Understand the what and think about the why. Everyone has the need to feel significant, and your genuine inquiry may establish just that.

5. Admire a good listener. A conversation that you are motivated to entertain is bound to be two-way. When it's your turn to talk, you will have won a good listener over by being one yourself.

6. Acknowledge that the other person is important to the relationship. Establish the connection and gain trust before moving forward. It takes two to tango!

7. Admit when at fault and do it quickly. The longer you take to admit a mistake, the more irreparable the damage. Time to call truce is now. 

8. Allow failure. It is an option, and the only means to learn and grow. Fail 'out loud' to reinforce lessons learnt, and move yourself and others forward. 

9. Abandon criticism. If you must critique, bring it on like rain, to nurture, not destroy. 

10. Avoid arguments. Generate light if you can, not heat. Think Win-Win and know when to let it go.

11. Appeal to the Idealist that exists within each of us. Speak of virtue and let the other person examine, understand and come to terms with reality based on their notion of the ideal.

12. Advise only if you must. Think hard before you dispense it.  It may be unwelcome at best, and a slate wiper of relationships at worst.

13. Abide by the 'All opinions count' policy. You do not have to agree, but make the opinion count. Afford the other person the same allowance you expect when you express an opinion.

And lastly, the crucial one that's often missed:

14. Answer the question, 'According to who'? 
Place yourself in the other person's shoes. Understand his/her point of view. Our perspectives are what make us unique - in this respect, we are all in classes of one.

Back to Blogging!

In the last 5 years, I have thought, done and written more than I ever have in the years that came before. Yet, not on my Blog.


I am reviving my blog....


I hope to write often - thoughts, ideas, feelings and just random observations that forge their way into my days, less meditated or deliberate.


Please take anything I say as advice at your own risk :)


Cheers!
Sravanthi

Reunion

by Sravanthi Vallampati

Just times that make you happy....

REUNION

Drinking with mine eyes, the joys of reunion,

drowsed with mirth of brewing memories,

seeking to unravel the mystery that bonds,

this fabric of my life, so soft, yet firmly so!

Sprinting as though making up for lost time,

whilst drowning in dreams for tomorrow,

bidding time to stand still, an hour, a trice,

to fill my cup o'er n take swig, just for this day!

Praying as I blot, no thoughts withholden,

that time not us do part, in this plan divine,

In small measures, I'll savor my life-perfect,

for, who's to tell what tomorrow holds!!