The Baker's Dozen on Strengthening Relationships

Do relationships matter? 

Ever imagined where we would be without the many ties that keep our existence meaningful? Whether the objective is strategic or mere commonplace, whether at home, work or any location where living in isolation is not a popular choice, fact remains that there is a need to nurture these relationships and strengthen them as we go about our lives.

Though simple, the tenets below require a solemn personal commitment and a desire to abide by it not just when convenient, but in spite of much inconvenience. It is only then that there can be a successful establishment of Trust and Rapport with all those that we care about. A little investment is sure to go a long way, and the results that follow are immediate and most gratifying.

Note that each tenet has an ACTION word (Verb). This goes to prove that the only place where Success comes before Work is in the Dictionary!

1. Approach people with a Smile. It is the one weapon in your arsenal with the greatest potential to turn things around, no matter how grave the given circumstance.

2. Arouse in the other person a desire to meet, talk and work with you. Show what's in it for them. From that desire comes motivation to consider, commitment to pursue, and determination to succeed. 

3. Address the person by name and use it often during your conversations. One's name is the sweetest sound to him/her in any language.

4. Ask about their interests. Know what they like. Understand the what and think about the why. Everyone has the need to feel significant, and your genuine inquiry may establish just that.

5. Admire a good listener. A conversation that you are motivated to entertain is bound to be two-way. When it's your turn to talk, you will have won a good listener over by being one yourself.

6. Acknowledge that the other person is important to the relationship. Establish the connection and gain trust before moving forward. It takes two to tango!

7. Admit when at fault and do it quickly. The longer you take to admit a mistake, the more irreparable the damage. Time to call truce is now. 

8. Allow failure. It is an option, and the only means to learn and grow. Fail 'out loud' to reinforce lessons learnt, and move yourself and others forward. 

9. Abandon criticism. If you must critique, bring it on like rain, to nurture, not destroy. 

10. Avoid arguments. Generate light if you can, not heat. Think Win-Win and know when to let it go.

11. Appeal to the Idealist that exists within each of us. Speak of virtue and let the other person examine, understand and come to terms with reality based on their notion of the ideal.

12. Advise only if you must. Think hard before you dispense it.  It may be unwelcome at best, and a slate wiper of relationships at worst.

13. Abide by the 'All opinions count' policy. You do not have to agree, but make the opinion count. Afford the other person the same allowance you expect when you express an opinion.

And lastly, the crucial one that's often missed:

14. Answer the question, 'According to who'? 
Place yourself in the other person's shoes. Understand his/her point of view. Our perspectives are what make us unique - in this respect, we are all in classes of one.